Is Dating Different After 40?
There’s no definite yes or no to this question, simply because there are many facets to dating and in some respects dating after the age of 40 is different, and yet on some levels it’s the same as dating at a younger age. It also depends on the circumstances of why you’re dating at that age.
If you find yourself dating at 40 because of a recent break-up, especially of a long-term relationship, then you will suffer from the same bruised ego that a younger person would. The difference will be that at 40, you will be conscious that there are many more younger people on the dating scene, and will feel that you have less chance of finding someone. This isn’t the reality of the situation, but it’s the perceived reality that many older people new to the dating scene believe.
Most people of any age find dating a daunting prospect. Most people, regardless of age, find that dating is a scary process that has to be endured in order to find someone they want to have a good relationship with - rather like having a painful procedure at the dentist in order to create a great looking smile! Where people over 40 find it more difficult is in the fact that when they dated earlier in their lives, things were different. There were social rules that have now changed - who dated who, who paid, expectations from a date, etc. This adds anxiety to the idea that they’re going to be the oldest person at the speed dating evening, or that they’ll be thought of as someone looking to pick up their child, rather than a date!
If you find yourself dating in your 40’s, approach it as you did in your earlier days. Look for the type of man who attracts you. Don’t take your baggage on date! Don’t assume that all men are like the one that let you down. Don’t talk about him to the men that you date. It’s very possible that if you date a man in his 40’s, he will have a similar relationship story to yours! So start each dating experience as if it was your first date and don’t judge the person you’re out with against the way your last partner treated you.
Although dating after 40 is a different prospect to dating in your 20’s, make sure that your perception of the idea of dating at an older age isn’t getting in the way of the reality. You may not be the youngest participant in the dating game, but these days, you certainly won’t be the only older person who is looking for a relationship!
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
